Dissonance and Resonance
by Heavenly Pearl
Summary: For the Music Club recital being held during her school's cultural festival, Rei is assigned a piano solo, but wonders if her father will actually keep his promise to attend.


Dissonance and Resonance

"Argh! Why can't I get this part right?"

Frustrated after making yet another stupid mistake, ten-year-old Rei smashed her fingers against the keyboard of the school's grand piano, producing a harsh, dissonant sound that made her piano teacher, Sister Angela, physically cringe. She had been practicing the piece for almost a month, yet there was one tricky part near the end of the composition that she always stumbled on, no matter how hard she tried to get it right.

"It's okay, Hino-san," Sister Angela said, pointing to a spot on her sheet music a couple of measures before the troublesome section. "Try it again from here."

Rei did as she was told, but made the same mistake as before. It was only the nun's presence -- and the threat of being whacked on the palms with a wooden ruler -- that prevented her from taking the Lord's name in vain.

"I'm never going to be ready for the recital," Rei moaned instead, turning around on the bench to face the large poster hanging on the door to the music room, advertising the recital to be held the following weekend at T*A Girls' Academy's annual cultural festival. As a member of the Music Club, Rei was to be one of the girls performing in the recital, although she was beginning to have second thoughts about participating.

She had joined the Music Club only at her grandfather's urging. He, thinking Rei too much of a loner, thought being involved with club activities would be good for her and help her make friends, but she was as much an outcast among the other club members as she was among the rest of her peers. While all the other girls in the club had been split into small groups of two or three for their performances, Rei was the only one performing a solo, a fact that made the other girls resent her even more.

"Hino-san, I would not have assigned you a solo if I didn't think you could handle it," Sister Angela gently scolded. "Now, turn back around and watch me. Pay attention to how I move my fingers."

With a heavy sigh, Rei turned back to the piano and dutifully watched as the nun played the entire piece perfectly for what felt like the thousandth time. When she finished, Sister Angela asked Rei to try to play it again, but with her eyes closed.

"You want me to close my eyes while I play?" Rei asked, said eyes round as saucers as she stared at the nun in shock. "But I won't be able to see my sheet music!"

"You've been practicing this piece for a month; you should have it mostly memorized by now," she said, setting the sheet music aside so Rei would not be tempted to sneak a peek. "Just relax and let the music come to you. Don't worry so much about the technicalities, and whatever you do, don't stop playing until you reach the end, even if you make mistakes."

_Easier said than done_, Rei thought to herself, placing her fingers on the proper keys to start the piece and closing her eyes. After taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, she began playing, surprised at how much she actually did remember of the composition. It was as if her fingers were dancing over the keys under their own volition, the music consuming her completely.

When she finally reached the end of the piece and opened her eyes again, Rei was stunned to realize that she had not made a single mistake, not even during the part that always gave her trouble. For the first time since she had been given the music, she had played the piece perfectly. Sister Angela smiled, looking quite pleased with herself.

"See, I knew I had made the right decision in giving you the solo," she declared. "Play like that at the recital, and you're sure to get a standing ovation. I guarantee it."

Just then, the bell rang, followed by an announcement over the speakers, informing the elementary school students it was time to leave the campus. Rei had wanted to play through the piece one more time, just to make sure it wasn't some kind of fluke, but the school had strict rules about kids staying after school without permission, so she gathered up her sheet music and stuffed it in her book bag.

"Thank you for the help, Sister Angela-san," Rei said, bowing politely to the nun before leaving. "I appreciate it."

* * *

When Rei arrived home at the Hikawa Shrine, she found her grandfather busy raking autumn leaves around the property. The old man raised a hand in greeting upon seeing her and beckoned her to come over.

"Hey, Rei-chan, how was practice today?" he asked.

Rei shrugged, grabbing an extra rake from nearby without being asked to help. "It was okay, I guess," she said. "I finally managed to play my piece all the way through without making a mistake."

"That's great!"

"It could have been a fluke, though. I don't know if I'll be able to repeat it at the recital."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," Grandpa assured her. "Speaking of the festival, though, today I got a call from your father."

"Otou-sama?" At the mention of her estranged father, Rei stopped raking, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What does he want now?"

Her father, a successful politician, had never been a large presence in Rei's life, and was even less so ever since her mother's death three years ago from a fatal heart condition, when he had shipped her off to live with her maternal grandfather at the shrine. The only time he ever seemed to pay attention to her was when it benefited his image as a loyal family man.

Ha, "family man"… What a joke! What kind of so-called "family man" abandoned his grieving daughter in order to concentrate more fully on his career? If only the voters knew what kind of family man he really was… But Rei could never bring herself to fully give up the charade, if only because, as fake as their relationship was, it was sometimes nice to pretend that her father still cared about her, at least a little bit -- though she would never admit it.

"It seems the school sent him a flyer about the festival," her grandfather said. "I told him you were playing a solo at the recital, and he said he would like to see you perform."

The rake she had been tightly gripping in concealed anger slipped from her fingers to the ground. "Otou-sama wants to come see me at the recital?" Rei asked, dumb-struck.

"Apparently so."

"But…why?"

Rei could see no obvious political advantage to her father coming to the festival. Since many of the students at her school were daughters of the political elite, the media -- other than the school's newspaper club -- was not allowed to attend school events, supposedly to protect the privacy of the students and their families, but mostly to prevent any heated fights from breaking out among the parents and their supporters. The politicians weren't even allowed to pass out flyers or campaign for votes while there, and would be kicked out of the festival if one of the nuns caught them doing so.

Her grandfather sighed and shook his head. "Your guess is as good as mine, Rei-chan," he said.

"What did you say? When he told you he was coming to the festival."

"The only thing I could say -- that we would see him there and that you would be glad to see him."

Rei frowned, bending down to pick up the fallen rake to resume her chores. "When have I ever been _happy_ to see Otou-sama?"

"You used to greatly look forward to his visits when you first came to live here," her grandfather reminded her. "You would talk about it for days beforehand, constantly annoying me by asking my opinion about what dress you should wear and how you should style your hair. You always wanted to look your best for him."

"Except, most of the time, he never showed," she remembered, discreetly wiping away a tear and hating how those memories still had an affect on her. "Well, it doesn't matter," Rei decided after composing herself. "Otou-sama will most likely skip out on the festival, anyway, just like he usually does. There will be some big meeting or some political crisis he just has to deal with right away, and he will forget all about coming to see me, then I'll receive a bouquet of roses a couple of days later with a note written by his secretary saying how sorry he is that we weren't able to meet. It's always the same."

No matter how much she wished it wasn't.

* * *

The night before the festival, Rei stood in front of her closet, trying to decide what she would wear at the recital. Instead of their school uniforms, some of the more fashionable members of the Music Club had asked that they be allowed to dress up instead while they were on stage, a suggestion Sister Angela had reluctantly agreed to after most of the girls had expressed the same desire.

Rei had not been one of them. Growing up at the shrine, she had little need for fancy clothes. Her father usually sent her a new dress for her to wear whenever they were to meet in public, but she hated most of them, finding them much too frilly for her more understated tastes. It was like he thought of her as some kind of porcelain doll he could dress up to look like the perfect daughter.

"Well, I guess these aren't so bad," she said with a sigh, selecting two of the least offensive frocks.

One was a black-and-white polka-dotted dress, knee-length, with short sleeves and a white satin sash that tied around the waist. The other was a rich burgundy color, slightly shorter than the first, but still modest, with a black lace overlay over the bodice and a full skirt. She didn't remember where the second dress had come from, as she was certain she had never worn it before even though the tags were cut off, but assumed her father had sent it before an outing he had ultimately cancelled.

"Ojii-san, which dress should I wear at the recital?" Rei called out, taking the two dresses to the living room, where her grandfather was sitting at the kotatsu table, having his customary evening tea.

"Oh, Rei-chan, I don't know," he said with a with a dismissive wave of his hand, not even paying attention to her. "I'm not good at this kind of thing, you know. I'm sure you'll look pretty in whatever dress you decide to wear."

It was the same thing he used to say when she was younger and trying to decide what to wear to meet her father, before he had begun picking her wardrobe for her. It had frustrated her then, and it frustrated her now.

"You are not helping!" Rei said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes and stomp her foot like a petulant child. Standing right in front of the table, she held up the two dresses. "At least look at them first before saying something like that!"

"Fine, fine," her grandfather said, setting his tea down on the table. "You know, I really should have taught you to respect your…" His words trailed off as he finally looked up. "Where did that dress come from?" he asked, his eyes widening slightly.

Rei looked at the two dresses again, confused by his reaction. "Which one? They're both from otou-sama…aren't they?"

He shook his head, standing up and taking the burgundy dress from her right hand. As he held it up, he murmured, "Risa."

"Risa-san?" she repeated. "Okaa-sama? This was okaa-sama's dress?"

Her grandfather nodded. "When she was a little girl, just about your age. It was her favorite," he said, still staring at it as if it was some long lost treasure. "But how… Where did you find it?"

"In my closet, way in the back. It was in a garment bag. I thought it was a dress otou-sama had sent me."

He frowned. "Impossible. I always donated the clothes Risa grew out of to charity. I don't remember keeping this dress at all." He shook his head in disbelief after giving the dress a sniff. "This dress has to be over twenty years old, yet it smells clean. It's been well cared for."

"My closet was empty when I moved in here," Rei remembered, becoming just as intrigued as her grandfather by the mysterious dress. "The dress wasn't in there. I would have noticed if it had been. Then, how…?"

"I don't know, Rei-chan. I just don't know."

The two of them stood in bewildered silence, neither of them able to come up with an explanation on how a twenty-year-old dress could just suddenly appear in her closet. As a miko, Rei had some belief in the supernatural and the unexplained, but this was too strange for even her to believe. There had to be some logical explanation, though she couldn't think of one.

"Do you think it would be okay…if I wore it tomorrow?" Rei finally asked, breaking the silence. Before, she had been leaning more toward the polka-dot dress, which was more her style, but she couldn't shake the feeling that somebody or something wanted her to wear her mother's dress.

Smiling, her grandfather handed the dress back to her and said, "I think your mother would like that very much."

* * *

"Where is he?"

From her spot in the stage wings, Rei looked out into the audience and located her grandfather sitting in the second row. The seat next to him was conspicuously empty, even though the recital was almost over.

Though she knew she shouldn't be surprised by her father's absence, a small part of her had really thought he would come this time, somehow summoned there by the power of her mother's dress -- a dress Rei had decided must be magical. After all, magic was the only explanation that made any kind of sense, illogical as it was. How else had the dress ended up in her closet for her to find?

But it appeared not even magic was strong enough to make her father care about her. Why had he even told her grandfather he would come in the first place? Rei had been trying to come up with an answer to that question ever since the day her grandfather first told her about her father's plans, but she never did find one to her satisfaction.

_Well, it doesn't matter, _she decided, wiping away a stubborn tear with the palm of her hand. _If he doesn't care enough about me to keep his promises, then why should I care about him? It's just a waste of time. I'm better off without him, anyway. I have Ojii-chan now, and he's the only family I need. At least I know he will never let me down. _

A hand on her shoulder startled Rei from her thoughts.

"Hino-san, are you ready to go on?" Sister Angela asked. "You're next, after Tanaka-san and her group complete their number."

Rei nodded. A part of her was nervous about performing in front of so many people for the first time, but she could now play her piece in her sleep, so she wasn't too worried about making a mistake. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she declared, taking in a deep breath and throwing her shoulders back.

"Good."

The two of them watched as Tanaka Nobuko's group finished playing their rock song from the wings, then Sister Angela went out on stage to introduce Rei.

"Well, wasn't that…interesting," Sister Angela said, clapping politely as the girls took their bows. She had not been happy with their choice to play a Rolling Stones medley, but the girls' parents were all large contributors to the school and had threatened to lower their usual donations if the girls were not allowed to play what they wanted. Needless to say, they got their wish. "Thank you, girls. And, now, to close out our recital, please welcome Hino Rei-san, who will be playing a piano arrangement of Cesar Franck's 'Panis Angelicus'."

As the curtains were drawn, Rei stepped out from her spot in the wings and walked to the center of the stage, where a white baby grand piano had been pushed out for her to use. The stage lights beaming down on her were brighter and hotter than she expected, but she heard her grandfather in the audience calling out her name, bringing a smile to her face. Taking a moment before sitting down, she shielded her eyes and looked out onto the crowd, again focusing on the second row where she knew her grandfather was sitting.

He was not hard to find. He was the only one standing -- on his chair, no less, as he was very short in statue -- and he was waving his arms high above his head, trying to get her attention. Rei could only imagine what the other parents were thinking about him, but accustomed to his usually improper behavior, she merely smiled and waved back, though she stopped mid-wave when she noticed that the chair beside him was no longer empty.

"Otou-sama…"

Rei couldn't believe her eyes. He had come, he had actually come. He must have slipped in at the very last moment, but he had made it. _Maybe this dress is magical, after all_, she thought.

She heard Sister Angela loudly clearing her throat from the wings, signaling Rei that it was time to begin. After taking one last look down at the audience to make sure her father was really there, and not just a figment of her imagination, Rei sat down at the piano and began playing her piece.

As Sister Angela had suggested the day she first played the song without any mistakes, Rei played with her eyes close, blocking out any and all distractions. The only thing that mattered in that moment was the music -- not her father, her grandfather, or even her late mother, whose dress she wore. The music flowed out of her fingers and onto the keyboard, filling the courtyard with a heavenly sound that touched the hearts of all in attendance -- whether they were Catholic or not -- and when she had completed the final chord, she was rewarded with a standing ovation, her grandfather jumping up and down to see over the head of the student in front of him.

Standing from the piano bench, Rei took her bows, staggered by the outpouring of praise for an outcast like her. Even her fellow Music Club members were joining in from the wings, some, though, a little less enthusiastically. The curtain fell as Sister Angela said a few closing words, and Rei walked over to join them, only half-aware as some of the girls patted her on the back and congratulated her on her performance.

It was like a dream. Not only had her father actually come to a school event he wasn't required to attend, but she had put on the performance of her life, gaining the respect -- if not necessarily the affection -- of a group of girls who had never accepted her before.

_This dress really is magical! _Rei thought as she saw her grandfather and father backstage. Politely excusing herself from the group, she went over to greet them.

"You were wonderful, Rei-chan!" her grandfather said, handing her a bouquet of Casablanca lilies, her favorite flower, and kissing her on the cheek. "I knew you were good at the piano, but I didn't realize how much. Risa would be so proud of you if she was here."

Her father nodded in agreement, a small smile on his usually emotionless face. "Yes, you seem to have inherited Risa's talent," he said, "among other things."

"Oh, right, Okaa-sama played the piano, too," Rei remembered. She had nearly forgotten. Her mother never played much, as she was usually too weak and sick to even get out of bed, but Rei recalled how much she used to love sitting on the piano bench at her mother's side on her good days, watching her slender, bony fingers fly over the black and white keys. It was those memories that originally inspired Rei to begin piano lessons in the first place.

"I see you also wore your mother's dress," her father continued, kneeling down in front of her so that they were eye-to-eye. He stared at her with a look of wonderment that made Rei feel a bit uncomfortable. "You really do take after her…"

"Ryoji-san, how did you know that was Risa's dress?" her grandfather asked. "You didn't meet until you two were teenagers. You never saw her wear it."

Her father stood back up and cleared his throat. "Risa always intended for Rei to have it when she was old enough to fit it," he explained. "I forgot all about it, though, until the end of last year, when the maid came across it during the end-of-the-year cleaning, so I had her send it to Hikawa, along with another dress I had bought her for her to wear at her birthday dinner."

"Then the dress isn't magical, after all…" Rei murmured to herself, disappointed.

Her grandfather cocked his head to the shrine. "Rei-chan? Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, it's nothing."

Rei remembered what had happened now. She did receive two garment bags for her last birthday, but she had been so angry when her father called to cancel their dinner at her favorite restaurant, she had stuffed them both in the closet without even looking inside them first.

There had never been anything "magical" about the dress at all.

"Well, in any case, I think this calls for a celebration," her grandfather declared, clapping his hands together. "Ryoji-san, would you care to join us?"

"Sorry, I can't." Her father glanced down at his watch and frowned. "I need to get back to the office."

"So soon? But you only just got here, and there are still plenty of exhibits to see."

"I only had a thirty-minute break in my schedule." He nodded at Rei. "Rei, I'll see you next month. One of the magazines is planning a piece on my re-election campaign, and they'd like to do an interview with the both of us."

The same as always… "Yes, Otou-sama."

Rei sighed as her father left without even saying a proper good-bye. It had been too much to hope for that his coming to the recital might be the beginning of a reconciliation between the two of them, magical dress or not. Coming up beside her, her grandfather wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"He's certainly a cold one, isn't he?" her grandfather remarked as they watched him walk away. "Sometimes, I wonder what my Risa ever saw in him, but he made her happy, every now and then, and I supposed he loved her in his own way."

"If he did, he sure had a funny way of showing it," she muttered, thinking of how he had been too busy with his work to even visit her mother in the hospital right before she died.

"Yes, well…" Unable to offer an explanation for her father's callousness, her grandfather gave Rei a light squeeze. "Enough talk of Hino Ryoji-san. Today is your day, and like I said before, we should celebrate your grand triumph. Your homeroom class is doing a sushi bar, right? Let's go check it out. You can have anything you want, my treat."

Rei managed a small smile. Her grandfather was right. Even if her father was still a jerk, she shouldn't let his behavior take away from the afterglow of her performance. "Thanks, Ojii-chan."

"And maybe afterwards you can introduce me to those cute older friends of yours in the Music Club," he added, nodding toward a group of older girls -- members of the high school Music Club, who Sister Angela had asked to help out for extra credit -- passing by. "It would be nice to have a few extra miko around the shrine…"

Rei rolled her eyes, smacking him on the back of the head.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asked, rubbing the sore spot. "That hurt! Is that any way to treat an old man who's buying you sushi?"

Rei sighed and shook her head, leading him back to her classroom. "Oh, ojii-chan, what would I ever do without you?"

She never wanted to find out.

DISCLAIMER: _Sailor Moon _is the property of Takeuchi Naoko.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was written for the sm_monthly community at Livejournal (Theme: Piano).


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